Things Past
Memories.
I am by my nature a collector - of objects, of images, of facts, of memories. Everything and everyone you encounter in life leaves a trace. All those experiences influence who you are. But that is a very different thing to making you who you are, because we choose our own way in life. I am a collection of all that I have been, but what I will be is up to me. And so I find myself looking back at what I was, and how I dressed, and thinking of how I may improve on that. Not to some outside measure of improvement, but a sense of on-going individual improvement. You owe yourself that much at the very least. We live, and so we learn and so we grow. I think that is the case with life and with style - our experiences may influence how we dress, or how we wish to dress, but all said and done, how we actually dress is our own story to tell.
I said I collect objects, but perhaps more accurately I should say that I collect fragments. There is a beauty to things unfinished. A fragment with the potential to remind me of things far greater than one would think such a fragment being capable of is infinitely more valuable than a hoard of objects. Each fragment bears a world of memory and emotion. A reminder, a gift, a moment in my life. Yet as much as I am a collector, I am not comfortable with the idea of owning too many objects without that deep attachment. It is better to have a little that means a lot, than to have a lot that means very little. It is a hard feeling to describe, but sometimes I feel that in owning so much, it would spread me too thin. It is an odd experience to give things away, but it is also liberating. If most of what goes is devoid of any great meaning in the first place, there is no real sense of loss, rather a curious sense of relief, of becoming unburdened little by little. But there are also those objects that carry a wealth of personal meaning and memories, especially where clothing is concerned.
I photograph every garment I sell or donate. It is a record of things past. It is a catalogue through which I can browse and remember how I dressed. It is a reminder of how my tastes have evolved, how they have changed, and of the mistakes I have made along the way (sometimes including the rare garment I should have never given away in the first place). I think style is something that is ever changing, but I like to remember the things that never quite worked, because it reminds me of the areas I have yet to better understand. Without mistakes we can not learn, we can not improve. So I look through my archive to remind me of things I still need to understand about dress, about style, about myself. Above are two pieces that would seem like they belonged to a different person entirely if you looked through my wardrobe today. But I like that because it reminds me of a different side of me - of someone I was, and someone I needed to be in order to come to where I am today. They may not be the type of garments I would wear now, but I wore them in the past, and therein lies something important I think.
"When people [are] really tired of everything, then come, I can satisfy you..."
- Yohji Yamamoto
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