Part Four: Of Men and Women
What kind of qualities do you look for in a partner and why?
As simple as it may sound, the thing I would look for is someone who makes me smile. More importantly however is that she would also make other people smile. We all look for someone who will make us happy, but to me, it is also important that she is someone who makes other people happy. They say that you should be wary of someone who is kind to you but mean to the waiter. And that is how I choose to look at all the relationships in my life. If they do not care for others, it makes me question their true character.
I often feel that people often become busy thinking of themselves - what they want, what they need, what they do not have; and forget to think of others. So to find someone who truly takes the time to think of others, not simply for what they gain for themselves, would definitely be something I look for. It is an important part of how I choose to live my life, so for that reason it has to be an important part of what I look for.
I am not so sure I have a specific list of qualities or likes that I look for. The most beautiful part of love is its ability to surprise, so I like to keep an open mind. I would obviously like to find someone who shares the same general interests, but she would not have to like everything that I do. Indeed it is the little differences between us that I would enjoy the most, because I believe that love is about those little quirks.
She would be someone I was happy being with even when doing the most mundane of things. I often give the example of washing dishes, in that we could stand after a long day and wash the dishes together, not needing to speak, but being happy in the presence of each other. That example would obviously be on a more serious level, but it truly is the small things in life that I value the most, and that type of connection is definitely one of them.
Speaking of serious relationships, family is important to me, so she would have to be someone who got along with my family. To be honest, I suppose I would look for someone who I know my parents would like. However it would naturally work both ways, I would want to take the time to know and like her family and parents as well if things were to become serious.
Where would you go on a first date?
I am definitely somewhat of a traditional romantic, so it could perhaps be an evening performance in the theatre, followed by dinner. I would pick her up at her doorstep, most probably wearing a suit, but without a tie so as not to look too formal. I have a particular love of flowers, so I would have hopefully found out her favourite, without being too obvious, in a previous conversation, and bought a bouquet for her.
I would have arrived early in the evening, so that we could walk at a leisurely pace to the theatre, taking time to browse a book store or antiques shop along the way. If there was even the slightest possibility of rain, I would of course have brought an umbrella along for the both of us. I make sure to walk along the pavement on the side closest to the road, to shield her lest a car drive by and splash water our way.
Following the performance at the theatre we would go to dinner. It would probably be somewhere rather more intimate than one of the more popular restaurants. I would have found a place nearby beforehand, with a unique character and charm that both I and my date would appreciate. Following dinner and perhaps some dancing, I would make sure to walk her back to her door and hopefully make plans to see her again.
Of course that being said, my decision for a date would very much depend on the lady in question and her interests and likes. It could be going to a painting class together, or having a picnic in the park under the sunshine. It could be going to pick strawberries or going to a local flea market to explore and find treasures. The date would have to be something we would both enjoy, but also something a little more special for us both than simply going to see a movie or going to drink coffee.
Are you straight or gay?
Straight.
Do you have a girlfriend?
Nope.
How do you inject some style into a boyfriend or boy friend's wardrobe without him getting offended and thinking that you are trying to rob him of his own personal style?
It really does depend on how you come across, most men are pretty open to fashion suggestions from women!
The only real thing you need to know about this is that us guys are not all too smart to women. You only have to suggest something and reinforce the idea by saying how good it is, and we tend to follow your advice. Imagine the scene from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, where the mother and aunt are trying to convince the father to allow Toula to go to computing classes. They carefully suggested to him how good an idea it was and he ended up agreeing and thinking he made the decision all along. I am not of course saying that you should trick them into wearing what you want them to, but rather, giving them the option to wear something a little different.
The most important thing to note is that if he is not comfortable with wearing something you can not push him to do so. Go shopping with him and pick up something you may think is nicer and tell him how it may be the better choice for him. Do not shun his choices, but rather provide more options.
Provided you give encouragement for a new choice and ease them slowly into making a change, it should flow naturally. I think a lot of men find it rather hard to go shopping, and will often have a pretty simple and utilitarian approach - "I need some trousers, I like those trousers, I will buy those trousers". You simply need to open the possibility of more choices to them. However, remember that the clothes are for them, so let them buy what they love, not simply what you like. Of course the easy option for a boyfriend would be to buy clothing as a gift - that way they pretty much have to wear it!
Well this is technically my 492th post, however including a few draft posts yet to be published, that makes 500. I actually just wanted to take this opportunity to announce my Around The World project. Full details will be posted to start off the project soon. For those of you interested, here is a little teaser clue...
Oh, and here is a beautiful rainbow to remind you that even rainy days are a cause of joy :)